Everything is fine and dandy until about 5pm, and then - woops! Going to the toilet, I swivel awkwardly as I stand up and that infernal bitch momentum takes her toll. Most of my posessions scatter like confetti.
iPhone goes in sink. Fuck.
Wallet goes in urine-filled toilet bowl. FUCK.
Recover both, leave iPhone and Wallet to dry out, and go out for a cigarette to calm my nerves. With my lighter failing to work, I stupidly hold it up to my ear to see if the valve is screwed. One loud FWOOSH noise and the smell of overcooked bacon later, and I'm left with half my hair missing. Tonight, Matthew, I'll be Philip fucking Oakley.
Hopefully I'll be able to follow my cardinal rule and tomorrow will turn out better than today.
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